EAST WEEK #11 ~ “LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES”

East Week #11 ~  “Learn From Your Mistakes” 

For many Asian’s it’s not easy to not be so hard on our-selves. We grow up in a culture where many of our parents, relatives, peers and society judge us and criticize us for our mistakes. We are told from a young age when we fail, “You are good for nothing! Why didn’t you do better? What’s wrong with you? You’re a failure! Etc.” It’s not easy being Chinese, or just Asian in general. There is so much pressure to be perfect. 

I remember growing up and always being compared to my sisters who always seemed picture perfect to my family relatives and friends. Both of my older sisters got the best grades in school, were valedictorians, and got into the best universities in America. As for me, my goal was to be the first oriental rapper! I thought I was black on the inside, even though I was yellow on the outside. Well, you could only imagine what would happen when we had family gatherings with our relatives. Our aunties would always compare their children with each other. My aunt would ask my mom, “My son is doing so well, he’s going to Harvard and how about your children?” My mom would answer, “Oh, my daughters or doing excellent they are studying to be doctors at UC Berkeley etc.” Then they would ask about “me.” Not a good question to ask at all. When they asked my mom, “How is your son?” My mom’s face would sink down in shame and she would say, “My son, I don’t know what to do with my bad son he wants to be black person, gangster, rapper or something!”  I pretended like I didn’t care when my mom said those things to me, but deep down I felt like my mom didn’t accept me the way I was. I felt like a failure. 

As time went on in my teenage years I made a lot of mistakes. In fact, even after I became a Christian pastor I kept making more and more mistakes. Each time I made a mistake I would also be so hard on myself. I would make a vow to God and others that I would not fail again. But then, I would go right back to making the same mistakes over and over again. It made me feel horrible. Every time I failed it reinforced the thought that I was a failure to my parents, to myself and to society. I couldn’t live with my shortcomings. I found myself constantly thinking self destructive and negative thoughts like, “You suck, you are nothing, you are a failure and you will never overcome your weaknesses.” The more I thought about how bad I was, the more I felt worst about myself till I became depressed, stressed and overwhelmed with discouragement. 

One day, when I was feeling down because I had failed again in an area of struggle in my life my friend looked at me straight in the face and said, “Jaeson you are way too hard on yourself. Instead, of looking at your mistake as a failure look at it as a lesson to be learned. Without failing, we can’t learn to do what is right. Failure is a part of life and it is what makes us human. You are not Jesus Christ, so don’t try to be perfect, but realize you are human and it doesn’t matter what people think about you, but what matters is that God loves you and you must learn to love yourself, mistakes and all.” 

When I heard those words, it made me re-think my failures. Instead of seeing my mistakes as negatives, I began to see them as positives. I began to realize that I didn’t need to be perfect or what everyone expected me to be. Rather, I simply needed to be myself and thank God that He loved me still even when I made a mistake. That’s why Jesus died on the cross. He died so that our sins could be forgiven because He knew we would never be perfect, but His love for us is. He loves us as we are and we must accept ourselves just as we are. We still do our best in doing what is right, but if we make a mistake learn to forgive yourself and one day you will get to where you need to be.

How do we learn from our mistakes? 

1. Don’t see your mistake as a failure, but see it as a lesson to be learned ~ a baby doesn’t fall down when trying to walk and stay down. It gets back up and tries to walk again. We must recognize that we will stumble and fall in this life, but we have to get back up, learn from what we did wrong and keep walking.
2. Don’t be so hard on yourself when you fail, because you are only human ~ Failure is an event it is not a person. Remember, that we can always learn from our failures by understanding what we did wrong and by next time choosing to do better. Don’t think it’s the end of your world because you made one mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s what makes us human. Always remind yourself that your worth is not what you do right or wrong, but your worth is defined by God’s unconditional love for you. You are not a failure you are a precious child of God. 
3. Admit to your mistake and keep a teachable spirit ~ a failure is only failure if we fail to admit that we failed. To deny our mistake is ignorance and pride. But when we admit to what we did wrong, own up to it and take responsibility to not do it again we can learn to be better people. Failures humble us and humility is what makes us appreciate God, others and the life we live. Always keep a teachable spirit and you will only grow wiser from every mistake you make. 
4. Don’t be afraid to fail, because our failures lead us to our true successes in life ~ Thomas Edison (famous scientist) failed with over 1,000 inventions before he invented the light bulb. If Thomas Edison simply said after his third failed invention, “I’m nothing but a failure and I quit inventing because I have no hope” then we would maybe never have electricity and light. Thomas once said, 

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” – Thomas Alva Edison (1847-1931)

Don’t be afraid to make a mistake, learn from them and you will become a better person. Everyone who has ever done anything great in this life has had failures. It’s part of life. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Stay humble and never stop learning. 

God bless,

Jaeson Ma