EAST WEEK #21 ~ “THE PROBLEM OF CELEBRITY SUICIDES AFFECTING THIS GENERATION”

THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN MONTHS AGO DURING MY TRIP TO SOUTH KOREA, RIGHT AFTER THE EX-PRESIDENT HAD COMMITTED SUICIDE…

Suicide is a big problem in this generation. The problem of suicide is a worldwide issue, but especially in the Asian regions suicide always ranks as one of the top 2 forms of death amongst Asian’s young and old. In Japan the problem of suicide has become an epidemic where youth will form “suicide clubs” on the Internet and commit suicide together as a sport or activity. In South Korea, celebrities have been committing suicide more and more, and even more recently the former president of South Korea jumped to his death from a mountainside. In Hong Kong there have been prominent celebrities who have committed suicide because of bouts with depression, while students leap to their death because of the pressures they face. I have begun to ask why suicides seems to be happening almost all the time specifically among celebrities and young people? Is there a way we can prevent more celebrity and youth suicides from happening?

I am currently on a plane ride to South Korea while writing this column. Every year, I travel to Seoul Korea a few times to preach and minister to many celebrities in the entertainment industry. As I minister and counsel many artists in the Korean entertainment industry, I find that many of them battle with thoughts of suicide. We would normally think that people like celebrities and artists would have it all in life: money, power, fame, prestige, beauty and influence. Yet, celebrities are people just like you and me. They are no different than most of us, they are human beings who deal with everyday real problems. The thought of suicide is something that many normal people struggle with on a daily basis. Yet, suicide is something that celebrities and young people seem to struggle with more often than others because of the positions they are in. As I continue to counsel and work with many celebrities and young people in Asia, I have begun to understand a bit more the cause behind this reoccurring tragedy.

For example, in 2008 there were a series of celebrity suicides in South Korea between October and December that led to many “copy cat” suicides from the fans of the celebrities who chose to take their lives as well. This kind of suicide effect does not just happen in Korea, but similar cases all over Asia. It is not a surprise that when a celebrity commits suicide, that the young fans will do the same, because celebrities have influence on the youth. What is the cause? Personally, I believe there are three main root issues that many celebrities and young people have to  deal with…

1. Performance ~ in Asian culture there is a high premium put on our performance. If we do not perform well, we will be judged and rejected. This is true for celebrities especially who are always being seen in the limelight. A celebrities every action and move is being watched and if they fail, they are judged harshly. This is also true for young people who feel they have to perform well for their parents in school, or for others in society to accept them. The underlying issue, people are not loved outside of their performance and their identity is equated to how well they can perform in life. Outside of their performance they are worth nothing.
2. Pressure ~ in Asian culture there is also great pressure to meet the expectations of others. People constantly give us pressure to do more, to be a certain way or be something we are not. We are given pressure to look a certain way, act a certain way, we are compared to others and when we don’t measure up to the pressure, we break down into bouts of discouragement, depression, feelings of shame and even suicide. Celebrities and youth deal with societal pressure, peer pressure all the time.
3. Pain ~ in Asian culture it is not okay to tell people how you really feel at times. We hid our feelings, instead of expressing them to others to find comfort and solace. When we don’t feel understood, listened to, or cared for pain begins to be felt in our hearts and slowly destroys us on the inside. We begin to feel that people only love us for our performance, for what we can produce, for what we can do but not for who we are. (This is especially true for celebrities who are so loved and celebrated on the stage, but may feel so lonely and misunderstood in real life.) We become afraid of what other people think, because we don’t want to show weakness, so we hide our pain, keep it to ourselves until one day we cannot bear with the pain anymore… suicide then becomes an option.

I urge us as a society and people to give more grace to those who face these struggles with performance, pressure and pain. We especially need to give grace, mercy and forgiveness to those people in the limelight. Whether they are celebrities, government leaders or young people who are battling with depression and shame, all people deserve to be loved for who they are, not how perfect they can be.

My heart breaks for those celebrities I minister to who feel that no one loves them for them, but only for how good they look, how talented they can act/sing or how perfect of a role model they can be. My heart breaks for that young person who is thinking about committing suicide because they didn’t make the grade, were compared to others unfairly and have no one to talk to about their pain. My heart breaks for the former President of Korea who felt he had to take his life, because he didn’t want to bare any more shame and accusation from the public for being accused of unethical financial dealings. People make mistakes, but the punishment should not be death. Everyone deserves a chance to live. We need to change our value system as an Asian culture where ‘failure equals death’ and begin to tell others, “It’s okay to fail, because it is through our failures that we learn to succeed.” Life is a gift and life is always worth living. God created you and has a good plan for you. Please don’t throw your life away because you feel that you have failed. Talk to someone who understands, pray to God for help and you will overcome the pain and live on to a better day. You only have one life to live, live it to the fullest!